Heartseed, Homeseed
by tielan
Summary: Back in Atlantis once more, Carson reflects on his friends and his home. Episode epilogue to 'The Seed'.


**NOTES**: Episode epilogue for _The Seed_

**Heartseed, Homeseed**

He thought of it several times during the crisis with Dr. Keller, a wisp of thought that never had time to gain purchase, a seed that never gained the opportunity to develop roots.

It wasn't until they were listening to Ronon making his way through the city that Carson remembered what he'd never had the chance to ask.

He'd seen Teyla standing at the foot of the bed, felt relief that she was here and safe, and then had the feeling he was missing something. Something that hadn't hit him until now.

"Where's Teyla?"

Rodney was frowning slightly at thin air, his attention on the intermittent commentary Ronon was running them as he made his way through the city. "Hm?" His fingers twitched, as though longing for a computer keyboard from which to enact a solution. "Oh, probably feeding Torran. He suffers to be handed off to the marines for looking after - I think Lorne's on jiggle duty today - but only Teyla does for mealtimes."

"So she had the baby." Carson reached out a hand, resting it on one of the consoles for a moment as the relief made him weak. "And escaped from Michael." Then, as Rodney's words sank into his mind, he questioned, "Jiggle duty?"

"Hm?" Rodney was fingering his earpiece. "Oh, the kid won't sleep unless you, you know, jiggle him." He demonstrated for a few seconds, cradling an invisible something in his arms, before he stopped, embarrassed. "Anyway... I'm pretty sure she's listening in. Pity. We might have been able to use her to make contact with the...uh...proto-hiveship thing. Wraithgene and everything."

Carson grinned briefly. There was nothing so embarrassing Rodney could do that a little babbling wouldn't cover.

He'd missed his friends.

--

Carson took a moment to glance in on Sheppard before he went through the Stargate back to Earth for the IOA's 'interrogation'.

He didn't have a clear view of the patient, although he did have a good view of Teyla's back as she perched on the edge of the bed, a bundle cradled in her arms.

There were surely a few moments to spare for this - they weren't about to open the wormhole to Earth if the person they were sending back to Earth wasn't available! Carson dropped his pack by the door, and slipped into the room, coming around the bed the better to see mother and child.

Teyla looked healthy and happy, the glow about her one of satisfied motherhood rather than full-blossomed pregnancy. Contentment in Atlantis, not distress as Michael dragged her away. "Carson. All ready to leave?"

"Just about. I came to have one last look-in on John," he said with a glance at the bed-ridden man. It was rare to see Sheppard smiling, but there was a look of pride in his face as he regarded baby and mother.

"He is having his peace disturbed by Torran," Teyla said with a laughing look at Sheppard.

"If this is disturbing the peace, then I'm sure I can live with it." Sheppard shifted a little, wincing as he strained his side. "Don't move, I'm fine," he told Teyla, one hand half-lifting towards her when she moved.

"If you are sure...?"

"I'm sure." The smile he gave Teyla was slight, but Carson let his eyes drift to the infant. For a moment, he felt as though he was intruding.

Then Teyla spoke with a faint laugh in her voice. "Did Rodney tell you about Torran's birth?"

"Oh, aye. And that you didn't name the child after him."

Another look was exchanged between the two, affection and amusement and pride on John's part.

"Yeah," Sheppard smirked. "He was pretty pissed about that."

"It doesn't take much with Rodney," Carson said, remembering a dozen times when the scientist had taken a huff for some reason or another. "You suffered no ill-effects? No post-partum depression?"

"I am fine," Teyla said, reaching one hand out to brush Carson's arm. "Surprisingly so. It has been wonderful to be back in the city, even if I am not sleeping as well as I used to." Her wry smile took in the baby, a glowing smile of motherhood.

Carson glanced at John, met a fond look in return.

"I've told Teyla that she's going to make the women on the base clucky," said John with a wry grimace.

"And I have told John that it is not the _women_ who are most 'clucky,'" Teyla said, casting a mock-severe look in his direction. "Considering that he has been known to kidnap Torran to play on the rec room rugs, and Ronon suffers his dreadlocks to be sucked upon, and Rodney has been trying to press MP3s of great musicians on me for Torran to listen to."

"You should use the MP3s of Rodney's talks on ZPM power and wormhole stability." John had his most innocent face on. "Those always send me to sleep."

Carson laughed with Teyla, feeling his spirits rise in spite of the fast-approaching departure from the city.

He'd missed Atlantis, all those months when he'd been in Michael's clutches. He'd missed the people who he'd worked with and come to know, and come to love. And then he'd been found, only to realise that he wasn't 'really' Carson Beckett - that Carson Beckett had died nearly a year ago.

Earth which was his home - and which could never truly be 'home' again. He was dead to his family, to his loved ones, to his former colleagues.

Atlantis was the only place he existed anymore.

And now he was leaving it.

On cue, his earpiece bleeped. "Dr. Beckett, would you please come to the Disembarkation Room. Your wormhole to Earth is about to depart."

The humour made him smile.

They were looking at him, hazel eyes and dark, their expressions full of hope and regret and affection. "Well," he said, "I've a wormhole to catch."

"Don't be away too long," said Teyla. "We have missed you, Carson."

He let her touch foreheads with him, felt a tiny hand reach up to pat his chin and laughed down at the wee infant. "I'm so happy for you both," he told her, letting Torran close fingers about his thumb, but resisting the tug towards the wet little mouth.

Then there was John. They clasped hands, eye to eye. "Thanks, Doc."

"You brought her home," Carson said. "Thank _you_." His memory had been a little vague after he woke from the stasis chamber, but he remembered pleading with John to bring Teyla home - the terror he'd felt at the thought of Teyla in Michael's clutches.

He should have known that Sheppard would find a way. John was reknowned for his dedication to the safety of his 'family'.

"Just bring yourself home, okay, Carson?" Sheppard said. "We'd hate to have to come rescue you from the IOA."

Carson chuckled. "A more terrifying opponent than bureacracy and rules, one cannot imagine, I suppose. Get better, John."

"Oh, that's definitely on my list of things to do."

With one more backwards glance at the picture of mother, child, and guardian - a new heart for the city Carson had known as both workplace and home - he grabbed his pack and headed for the Gateroom and the wormhole to Earth.

- **fin** -


End file.
